love makes seman taste better
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
