Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think people are normalizing furries
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
