Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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