Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
