Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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