How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
