no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you didnt know i had herpes?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
