so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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