can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
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