We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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