My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
