apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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