I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
