Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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