When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Couch. On fire.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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