I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
