You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
