omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
