I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
