he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
