yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
