this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
