I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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