Umm I'm too high to move.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
