You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
