I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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