Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
