Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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