So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
