Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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