I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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