i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
