aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
