You just made me feel so damn special
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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