BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize