i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
