What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
