We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
