It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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