Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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