Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
