im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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