So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
