Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
