At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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