Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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