Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
