I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize