Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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