i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's shark week go big or go home
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
