Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
