Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize