Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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