the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
