if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
