Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
