I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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