so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
