It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
