the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize