I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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