Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
