Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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