but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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