More tranny stories later!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize