My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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