I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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