so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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