I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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