There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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