So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
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Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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