The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
