Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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